Category Archives: Television

Lexx 4.14 & 4.15

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Lexx 4.14 “Prime Ridge” February 15, 2002
The crew buy a house in Prime Ridge, using money from ATMs that 790 rigs for them. Xev’s cooking is atrocious, Kai doesn’t like his new fridge, and after a day they get bored of TV. Xev gets a job at CJD Meat Products as a counsellor (as a way to get sex), where she meets Cleesby. Stan reckons he’s got a chance to get it on with the realtor, and her daughter Picolina gets in on the action. Kai starts running out of protoblood, gives druggies all the money, and starts acting as high as they are. Everyone is a gun wielding psycho, and the episode ends in a massive shootout; S.W.A.T ruins the lawn, bullet holes line the walls, Cleesby and Picolina decide sex is better than shooting each other, and the druggies take off in the moth, leaving the gang no option but to use the neighbor’s car for a getaway. Features Britt Ekland as the realtor, “Dulcibella Sternflanks”.

This satire of American domestic life may be funny, mainly due to the over -the-top blood soaked ending (3/5)

 

Lexx 4.15 “Mort” February 22, 2002
Derived from Bride of Re-animator. Fleeing from the authorities, with exhausted Kai in a shopping trolly, Xev and Stan shelter in a funeral parlour run by Mort. Mort is assembling his “unofficial” girlfriend, Deedee, from spare parts. He rejects Xev’s breasts only on blood type, and becomes fascinated by Kai’s protoblood, which Kai readily donates. Xev and Stan show their supreme insensitivity whilst escorting mourners to coffins. On Lexx, 790 will not cooperate because Kai cannot speak. Meanwhile Xev fends off deputy Festus with promises of sex, but she gives him re-animated Deedee instead. Deedee then kills Mort in the name of His Divine Shadow.

Another un-funny attempt at satire (1/5).

Lexx 4.12 & 4.13

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Lexx 4.12 “Bad Carrot” October 31, 2001
The carrot probes invade US supermarkets, and leading scientists analyse how the carrots penetrate their hosts. The Whitehouse is overcome, so Prince, Priest and Bunny flee to the Lexx, accidentally taking a carrot with them. 790 sides with the carrot to eliminate everyone but Kai. Prince teaches him Chess, and offers a wager. Kai demonstrates his increasing cynicism about 790 and works out what is going on.

The president act’s like he is in a bad sex farce. Prince is getting cooler as the evil being. However the toilet ‘humour’ of the episode is not appropriate for science fiction. (2/5)

Lexx 4.13  “769”  February 8, 2002
On Lexx, Xev and Stan threaten to kill Prince, but they can’t do it, and Kai runs out of protoblood. 790 has the agenda of obtaining a body, so he helps Prince and Priest strangle half the moth breeders to get the key to the Lexx. Back on Earth he is attached to the body of a moth breeder, and he selects a penis from one of America’s finest. Bunny is given orders to kill the crew of the Lexx, but she can’t do it. Prince returns to Lexx, and almost kills Stan and Xev. Bunny loses the key to the Lexx by having sex with Priest. Prince is killed for the first time.

This one tries (and fails) to offend the  French, Native Indians, Military and anyone with half a brain (1/5).

 

Lexx 4.10 & 4.11

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Lexx 4.10 “Magic Baby” September 28, 2001
After escaping from the clutches of the asylum, the crew meet Uther, who gives them a lift to the space shuttle. Back on Lexx, Uther works his magic on Xev, only to be interrupted by Vlad coming out of the cryo unit. Uther is converted to a slave, and Xev is executed. Vlad proceeds to suck the life out of Kai, and then Stan gets up the courage to kill Vlad using the druid’s staff. Stan then patches up Xev’s body the best he can.

Surprisingly bland, given the episode has the end of the villain. (2/5)

 

Lexx 4.11 “A Midsummer’s Nightmare” October 24, 2001
Loosely based upon A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Stan and Kai take Xev’s beautiful corpse down to the feast of Morgath because Uther vaguely promised that the dead could be risen. There, Oberon recognises the Red Fool, and The Dark man, and dominates the proceedings; attempting to marry Xev for 1500 years. Kai is turned into a joyful singing tree. Xev refuses Oberon, so he turns to Stan, who also refuses him after he realizes that Oberon wants 1500 years of back door sex. Titania saves them by tricking Oberon into marrying her/him for eternity.

Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night wasn’t amusing, neither was this. The sets look cheap and the acting even cheaper. The only thing of note is the beginning and end, taking place at Battersea Power Station,  used on the cover of Pink Floyd’s Animals (1/5)

 

Lexx 4.08 & 4.09

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Lexx 4.08  “Vlad” September 7, 2001
Stan gets an urge to revisit Transylvania. As their slave, he takes the goth sisters back to Lexx, where they steal all Kai’s protoblood for Vlad. 790 removes the parablood from Stan, and Kai goes back to Earth to face the divine executioner. Their fight ends up back on Lexx, where Vlad bites Xev and Stan. However, Xev is not affected by parablood and successfully pushes Vlad into the cryo unit.

A much better episode thanks to Vlad the villain. There is more threat and danger to the crew with no obvious and easy remedies. Obviously they win against a stronger foe, but only by working together (4/5)

Lexx 4.09  “Fluff Daddy” September 14, 2001
Prince lures the crew down to Earth. Bunny is told to have sex with Stan. On Bunny’s porn video, Stan notices Lyekka (Loo Loo), and tries to get close to her by being the new fluffer. Prince shows Xev the mortal Kai, who is an actor who really suffers for his art, injecting staples into his feet and sleeping on the stage. He wants celibacy until his show has run (2 – 6 months). Xev eats him anyway, in a fit of cluster lizard hormones. Stan uses Prince and the ATF to access Lyekka. Using her movie “Oval Orifice” as a way to steal the key from Stanley, both Loo Loo and her director go to the Lexx, and releases Vlad. Stan is arrested for theft, and sent to a loony bin..

Another descent into silliness and characters making stupid decisions (especially Stan). Only alleviated by a  surprising ending. (2/5)

 

 

Lexx 4.06 & 4.07

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Lexx 4.06 “The Rock” August 17, 2001
Stan goes to Newfoundland to inspect his loyal subjects, but they spit in his face because he is a duplicate of “Brud”, the village shyster. Brud figures this out pretty quickly, and takes on the role of Stanley, meeting Bunny, who had been sent there to seduce Stan. Bunny cradles his rock, but Brud leaves for Lexx anyway, taking all her money. He attempts to seduce Xev using a bad rendition of Greensleeves on his portable keyboard. 790 pushes him off the command deck. Meanwhile Stan is lynched, and Kai plays the tavern pianoman, with endless variations of “Yo Way Yo”. Priest nukes Newfoundland.

This one had a bit more spark and energy in the script and direction. It’s the only episode directed by Stephen Reynolds, maybe that made all the difference (3/5).

Lexx 4.07 “Walpurgis Night” August 24, 2001
Kai needs to go to Transylvania to explore his curiosity. In the tavern, they bump into bats, superstitious villagers, Van Helsing, and 3 goth girls. They are invited to the castle for the Walpurgis feast, which is hosted by a British actor playing Dracul. Stan has “dead thing pie”. Kai is trapped in a spiked coffin by Grenfield, the owner. The goth girls do various things to Xev and Stan, and then stamp on Dracul’s plastic teeth. Stan incites a riot back at the tavern. The castle is stormed, and Dracul is killed (ex contract). The goths wake Vlad with a sample of protoblood. Lionel Jeffries appears in this episode in his final role.

It’s Lexx vs Hammer Horror. And Hammer Horror wins due to this mess of a script. (2/5)

 

Lexx 4.04 & 4.05

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Lexx 4.04 “Stan Down” August 3, 2001
Goaded by the first lady, Priest does a deal with Stan to kill Prince, but ends up wiping out Orlando, Florida. In a plan to “save the presidency”, he blames Cuba, but Prince isn’t convinced, so organizes a trip down Dealey Plaza to drill home the importance of loyalty, having the first lady sniped. Genevieve G Rota is elected pope, randomly from a real estate guide. A cat becomes possessed by a carrot.

Even more silliness and half-baked satire. The only person having fun is Nigel Bennett as Prince. (2/5)

 

Lexx 4.05 “Xevivor” August 10, 2001
790 attempts to kill Stan and Xev, by designing the TV game “Xevivor”, to be played on island Zig Zig, which he knows to be infested with ruthless carrot probes. The prize for the survivor of Xevivor is Xev. Stan gets entered as a “wildcard” contestant by 790, to compete against beefcakes. As the TV crew and contestants get turned into carrot zombies, Farley (reincarnated Schlemmi, from Season 2, and Fifi, from season 3), the producer is largely concerned with his possible homosexuality. Meanwhile at Longbore’s space lab, Tina tries to seduce Kai, while showing him pictures from Transylvania.

Now it’s a parody of Survivor – with Zombies. Not as bad as it could be. Again the guest (Farley) is better than the regular crew, who trundle through this one without the enthusiasm necessary for the genre. (3/5)

 

 

 

Lexx 4.02 & 4.03

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Lexx 4.02 “Texx Lexx” July 20, 2001
Prince heads towards Lexx in a shuttle. Kai and Xev head to Earth in a moth, which is attacked by stealth fighters. The battle is monitored by a SETI team headed by Dr Longbore (a reincarnation of the Wozzard, from season 2), who embraces Kai, and details him on the Earth’s imminent demise due to Higgs Boson research. Stan has to deal with Prince on the Lexx, and the machinations of 790. Xev encounters a romantic Texan boy who wants to marry her before he can have sex, but all his friends want a crack, too, so he has to kill them all. Xev gets arrested and handcuffed for murder.

It’s interesting to have a bit of real science on the show, the search for the Higg Boson. But the notion that it would destroy the earth we all know didn’t happen. Xev’s story continues with the use of stupid american stereotypes. Stan behaves just as stupidly as always. Only Kai has a remotely interesting story with the scientists. (3/5)

Lexx 4.03 “P4X” July 27, 2001
Xev is admitted to a local Texan jail, where they do things mighty strange. The wardens’ goth daughter Lomea (in a wonderful reprise of her role from the 2nd Season episode ‘Twilight’) abducts attractive people from around the jail, and puts them on her P4X pirate internet show. Xev becomes a star with her loveless love slave story, and later in a sex show with other abductees. Meanwhile, Stanley is pinned high on a wall in the ATF, alongside psychopathic schoolboy, Digby, divulging all the secrets of the key to the Lexx. Prince tries to get the key, but doesn’t realize that Digby has his own plans, and his own weapons.

The best thing about the episode is Craig Charles (Lister from Red Dwarf) as the warden. The kid is suitable mean, but the ‘sex machine’ Xev gets caught in is just silly. (2/5).

 

The Night Manager

BBC TV Series
The Night Manager is a British-American television serial directed by Susanne Bier and starring Tom Hiddleston, Hugh Laurie, Olivia Colman, David Harewood, Tom Hollander and Elizabeth Debicki. It is based on the 1993 novel of the same name by John le Carré and adapted by David Farr to the present day.

It begins with Jonathan Pine (Hiddleston), a British military veteran working at an elegant hotel in Cairo, in 2011. Pine meets Sophie, a beautiful woman who has secrets, including inside information about a British businessman who’s also an arms dealer. Pine is drawn to Sophie’s sensual vulnerability, sleeps with her, shares her secrets with a friend who has ties to British intelligence, and lives to regret all of it.

 
A very stylish and British thriller. It’s Bond without all the stunts and violence. Hugh Laurie is great as the villain, Hiddleston suitably suave yet brooding (perhaps he will be the next Bond). The only problem I had was that they took the good vs evil thing a bit too far (especially the UK govt lackeys). Arms smuggling does go on, presumably endorsed by the governments that manufacture arms. So why write weak characters that have to justify these actions (4/5)

Lexx 3.13 & 4.01

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Lexx 3.13 – “Heaven and Hell” April 30, 2000
Xev retrieves Kai, who then dives to the center of planet Fire to rescue Stan. He has a little chat with Prince, who shows him Stanley in the red vortex evil soul repository, where they patiently await rotational incarnate torture with Prince for the rest of eternity. Xev liberates Kai by destroying Fire, then spiritual-Prince gains control of Lexx to destroy Water. The area is filled with good and evil souls, who fly off to Earth on the other side of the sun. Stan’s frozen body revives, and he remembers nothing about his judgement.

A better episode due to the requirement to wrap up all the plot threads and bring the third series to a close. (4/5)

Lexx 4.01 “Little Blue Planet” July 13, 2001
Begins with Marconi in Newfoundland 1901 and his trans-Atlantic communication attempt. This strong radio emission attracts the attention of another alien ship way outside the Milky Way. Arriving at Earth, Stanley H. Tweedle starts negotiating with the president, who is using cue cards to cope with alien first contact. They are not adequate to cope with Stan’s idiotic presumptions and sexual desires. Isambard Prince, head of the ATF, initiates a plan to attack the Lexx using Russian psycho killers aboard a space shuttle. Prince’s old crony from planet Fire, Priest, is elected president, and Lexx eats a large chunk of the Amazon Rainforest.

There is no explanation of how the Lexx and Prince arrived at earth.

Plotonium ?
It’s an interesting episode due to the contemporary setup and use of space shuttle video.  (4/5)

 

Lexx 3.11 & 3.12

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Lexx 3.11 Girltown 16/4/2000
Stan and Kai search for Xev in Girltown. Stan’s nubile non-dead body attracts the attention of the “head” Queen (reincarnated Giggerota), who has no body and kind of wants some body. She is interrupted by the all-female committee proceedings of Girltown, who discuss non-she and non-boy sexist agendas, in endless movements and motions. Meanwhile, Kai liberates the drag queen slaves making balloons, who are nice people, and have no idea why they have been sent to this hell. (Guest star Jimmy Somerville cameos.) In the escape, all the gay balloonists are eaten by Lexx. Stan and Kai fall to the planet Water, Kai sinks like a stone.

It’s not clear if this was supposed to be funny, satirical or just silly. Any way you looked at, it just doesn’t work. Zev just wanders around. Kai rescues people and they all reach the Queen in time to rescue Stanley. (2/5)

 

Lexx 3.12 The Beach     23/4/2000
Stan drowns, and washes up upon a metaphysical Beach. He is met by Prince, who explains that it’s his judgement time. When asked if he’s done anything bad in his life, Stanley really can’t remember anything. He’s not judged for causing the death of 94 worlds in the light zone. Instead, Prince focuses on his general cowardice and his attempt to destroy planet Water because he lusted for May meanwhile, Xev hasfound Stan’s body and popped it in the freezer while she searches for Kai. Kai observes many souls en-route to the center of Water, and finally slips through a light-hole, that lands him on another Gametown. Stan goes to hell.

Kai drowns, then re-appears. Zev searches, and Stan gets judged. More of an excuse to re-use old footage. Nothing in the plot moves forward. (2/5)