Category Archives: Television

Lexx 4.22 & 4.23

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Lexx 4.22 “Trip” April 12, 2002
Each planet the crew encounters on their search for a new home appears to be stripped of life. They conclude that it was “Lyekka”, but Stan is still convinced that Lyekka has changed her ways. “Lyekka” gives the crew a going away present, which appears to be yummy fruitballs, but ends up being a paranoid psychotic adventure, egged on by 790. The cryo control is wrecked and Kai mentions that he only has “days, a few weeks at best” of protoblood left.

It looks like the writers were starved of money for effects and sets and came up with a half decent plot of deception and lies. (4/5)

Lexx 4.23 “Lyekka vs Japan” April 19, 2002
Kai and Xev land near where a “Lyekka” asteroid hit near the coast of Japan, and meet the monks of a Buddhist monastery. There, Xev learns of “inner pieces”; her organs nearly harvested by the “Master”. A Godzilla-sized Lyekka comes out of the sea and starts devastating Tokyo. Kai slays her, and Lexx blasts the walking asteroid that emerges afterwards. The last few minutes of the episode are prematurely feel-good, as Stan decides to head away from Earth forever.

A Godzilla take-off that starts OK then takes ages to get going. The ‘monster’ Lyekka is suitably sub-par special effects and it looks like a quick getaway for the (still un-fed) Lexx. (2/5)

 

Cloud Minders

The Cloud Minders – Episode of Star Trek

This troubled planet is a place of the most violent contrasts.
Those that receive the rewards are totally separated from those
who shoulder the burdens. It is not a wise leadership.

Spock – “The Cloud Minders” Star Trek
first broadcast 28/2/1969

Is this just a coincidence ?
The very weekend I am reading the book
“When Corporation rule the World” by David Korten
this star trek episode is aired on TV4. I thought I had seen
them all. Korten uses this future morality tale to highlight
the problems he sees with the world today.

This book chronicles the economic history of the last 50 years,
since the Bretton Woods conference and the creation of the
IMF and World Bank.

Korten tell how large corporations have influenced the economic
world and ensured a system that is to their advantage.
Some of the accusations are a bit to simplistic for my liking,
the impression gained is that all the evils of the 20th century
can be laid at the feet of big business. He fails to take into
account other trends of our modern world, especially the influence
of technology.

Most of the trends and influences he outlines ring true, anyone
who has read similar books will recognize the themes –
* reduction of environmental standards
* the error of growth based economics
* undermining of democratic process

Indeed, some of the work he quotes I read in previous books in
similar subjects. All those interested in economics should read
the Cobb/Daly book “For the common good”, as this must be the
most quoted book on “new” economics.

Some notable quotes from the book –

According to Joe Kurtzman, editor of Harvard Business Review –
* For every $1 circulating in the productive world economy,
$20-$50 circulates in the world of pure finance.
* In international currency markets alone, $800billion to
$1 trillion changes hands each day. Far in excess of the
$20-$25 billion required to cover trade in goods and
services.

Production accounts for only 25% of the selling price of a
typical product.

Overall a good read. The prose is good, and not too technical.
Most of the book concentrates on the problems, with the solutions
being kept until the last few chapters. Korten doesn’t propose
solutions, he simply states the strategies that others have
started to enact.

I sympathize, therefore, with those who would minimize, rather than
those who would maximize, economic entanglements between nations. Ideas, knowledge, art, hospitality, travel – these are the things
which should of their nature be international. But lets goods be
homespun whenever it is reasonably and conveniently possible, and
above all, let finance be primarily national.
– John Maynard Keynes

(c) Nigel Baker 29/3/98



Lexx 4.20 & 4.21

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Lexx 4.20 “Apocalexx Now” March 29, 2002
A faint resemblance to Apocalypse Now. Stan wakes the crew to decide whether to destroy the carrot mothership, but is halted by a Lyekka-lookalike. Smitten, and suddenly amenable, Stan agrees that maybe Lyekka can lunch on some of Earth, but only if she negotiates which part, with the “ruler of Earth”. President Priest and Pope Giggerota are in Vietnam, being idiotic. The Pope captures Stan and Priest and plays gasoline golf with them. After lookalike-Lyekka eats the Pope, Priest suggests that she eat Japan. As a parting gesture, Priest nukes Vietnam.

Another forgettable episode. At least we are nearing the end (1/5)

Lexx 4.21 “Viva Lexx Vegas” April 5, 2002
The crew have to kill a day before the next shuttle flight, so Bunny suggests Las Vegas. Stan is determined to keep a low profile, but sends for two prostitutes – who don’t do anything for him. He sends Kai and Xev outside. The Egyptian themed hotel just happens to be storing the mummy of a philosopher poet called Drago, that Kai dispatched ages ago. The mummy goes on a killing spree. We learn that Kai has also killed “the pedantic, and the pseudo intellectual.”

The best thing about this episode is Bunny’s American style bikini costume. Otherwise it’s a combination of bad Dr Who monster-of-the-week and even worse Mafia stereotypes. (1/5)

 

Lexx 4.18 & 4.19

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Lexx 4.18 “The Game” March 15, 2002
A grippingly executed chess game derived from The Seventh Seal. With the experience of a partially played chess game against Prince in “Bad Carrot”, Kai plays for his soul, against the lives of Stan and Xev. He is confident of winning and enters the game willingly, much to Stan and Xev’s objection. He plays a game of deception, and bets he can make Prince overconfident. The chess characters are all from Lexx episodes. The icy landscape scenery changes with the mood. Kai wins, but gains nothing.

It begins with a type of deus ex machina where Kai moves to some sort of parallel world. His chess game with Prince must have been an elaborate set with real life heads. However it all amounts to nothing, does not move the plot forward and it’s boring (1/5)

 

Lexx 4.19 “Haley’s Comet” March 22, 2002
Out near the orbit of Jupiter, the crew encounter a Russian space pod full of students, whose only agenda is to get onto the Lexx and commandeer it. Except Haley. Haley, with the trust fund, has been conned and used by the rest of them, and thinks she is on a mission against “the corporations”. One of the girls has the hots for Kai, so 790 sees his chance to eliminate everybody by manipulating Haley. He guides her to a Black Pack weapon, and drives her into a killing spree – because it feels good.

Another story of stupid people doing dumb things.  This time things get so silly it’s almost amusing. But again  it’s an attempt at satirising a stereo-type, this time it’s the greenies. (2/5)

 

Lexx 4.16 & 4.17

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Lexx 4.16 “Moss” March 1, 2002
On the run Xev, Stan and Kai are abducted by Moss (in a reincarnation from season 2), head of the AFR. Using information from them, he masquerades as Prince, and installs himself as the head of the ATF. Moss has numerous conspiracy theories involving “666”, which are totally insane, but largely correct. He then puts the crew on a show trial for being in league with Prince, where he plays all legal roles, then decides to execute them. Prince (residing in his TV set) directs Bunny to read a note to the Idaho AFR, who then ride a moth to the ATF, and shoot all the AFR.

This just a long riff on a very old Monty Python joke from ‘Life of Brian’ that doesn’t go anywhere. More stock standard army stereo-types than you could shoot in sixty seconds (2/5).

Lexx 4.17 “Dutch Treat” March 8, 2002
Lexx is convulsing with starvation, and the crew decide to abandon him, leaving 790 behind as punishment for his latest treachery. They plan to hitch a ride with the Earth ship Noah, that 790 designed. Tina discovers that Ernst Longbore has his own secret plans about who is going onto his ship, and is sniffing the histocompatibily of schoolgirls. Prince re-boards the Lexx. Priest and Bunny shoot nearly every moth breeder to get the key, and then command Lexx to destroy Earth. Lexx only has enough charge to destroy Ottawa, so he eats Holland instead. Xev gets the key from Bunny – the lesbian way.

At last, the Lexx crew’s stupidity and incompetence results in an outsider (Bunny) making a rational decision. It’s beginning to feel like the end of the series (3/5).

 

 

 

Lexx 4.14 & 4.15

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Lexx 4.14 “Prime Ridge” February 15, 2002
The crew buy a house in Prime Ridge, using money from ATMs that 790 rigs for them. Xev’s cooking is atrocious, Kai doesn’t like his new fridge, and after a day they get bored of TV. Xev gets a job at CJD Meat Products as a counsellor (as a way to get sex), where she meets Cleesby. Stan reckons he’s got a chance to get it on with the realtor, and her daughter Picolina gets in on the action. Kai starts running out of protoblood, gives druggies all the money, and starts acting as high as they are. Everyone is a gun wielding psycho, and the episode ends in a massive shootout; S.W.A.T ruins the lawn, bullet holes line the walls, Cleesby and Picolina decide sex is better than shooting each other, and the druggies take off in the moth, leaving the gang no option but to use the neighbor’s car for a getaway. Features Britt Ekland as the realtor, “Dulcibella Sternflanks”.

This satire of American domestic life may be funny, mainly due to the over -the-top blood soaked ending (3/5)

 

Lexx 4.15 “Mort” February 22, 2002
Derived from Bride of Re-animator. Fleeing from the authorities, with exhausted Kai in a shopping trolly, Xev and Stan shelter in a funeral parlour run by Mort. Mort is assembling his “unofficial” girlfriend, Deedee, from spare parts. He rejects Xev’s breasts only on blood type, and becomes fascinated by Kai’s protoblood, which Kai readily donates. Xev and Stan show their supreme insensitivity whilst escorting mourners to coffins. On Lexx, 790 will not cooperate because Kai cannot speak. Meanwhile Xev fends off deputy Festus with promises of sex, but she gives him re-animated Deedee instead. Deedee then kills Mort in the name of His Divine Shadow.

Another un-funny attempt at satire (1/5).

Lexx 4.12 & 4.13

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Lexx 4.12 “Bad Carrot” October 31, 2001
The carrot probes invade US supermarkets, and leading scientists analyse how the carrots penetrate their hosts. The Whitehouse is overcome, so Prince, Priest and Bunny flee to the Lexx, accidentally taking a carrot with them. 790 sides with the carrot to eliminate everyone but Kai. Prince teaches him Chess, and offers a wager. Kai demonstrates his increasing cynicism about 790 and works out what is going on.

The president act’s like he is in a bad sex farce. Prince is getting cooler as the evil being. However the toilet ‘humour’ of the episode is not appropriate for science fiction. (2/5)

Lexx 4.13  “769”  February 8, 2002
On Lexx, Xev and Stan threaten to kill Prince, but they can’t do it, and Kai runs out of protoblood. 790 has the agenda of obtaining a body, so he helps Prince and Priest strangle half the moth breeders to get the key to the Lexx. Back on Earth he is attached to the body of a moth breeder, and he selects a penis from one of America’s finest. Bunny is given orders to kill the crew of the Lexx, but she can’t do it. Prince returns to Lexx, and almost kills Stan and Xev. Bunny loses the key to the Lexx by having sex with Priest. Prince is killed for the first time.

This one tries (and fails) to offend the  French, Native Indians, Military and anyone with half a brain (1/5).

 

Lexx 4.10 & 4.11

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Lexx 4.10 “Magic Baby” September 28, 2001
After escaping from the clutches of the asylum, the crew meet Uther, who gives them a lift to the space shuttle. Back on Lexx, Uther works his magic on Xev, only to be interrupted by Vlad coming out of the cryo unit. Uther is converted to a slave, and Xev is executed. Vlad proceeds to suck the life out of Kai, and then Stan gets up the courage to kill Vlad using the druid’s staff. Stan then patches up Xev’s body the best he can.

Surprisingly bland, given the episode has the end of the villain. (2/5)

 

Lexx 4.11 “A Midsummer’s Nightmare” October 24, 2001
Loosely based upon A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Stan and Kai take Xev’s beautiful corpse down to the feast of Morgath because Uther vaguely promised that the dead could be risen. There, Oberon recognises the Red Fool, and The Dark man, and dominates the proceedings; attempting to marry Xev for 1500 years. Kai is turned into a joyful singing tree. Xev refuses Oberon, so he turns to Stan, who also refuses him after he realizes that Oberon wants 1500 years of back door sex. Titania saves them by tricking Oberon into marrying her/him for eternity.

Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night wasn’t amusing, neither was this. The sets look cheap and the acting even cheaper. The only thing of note is the beginning and end, taking place at Battersea Power Station,  used on the cover of Pink Floyd’s Animals (1/5)

 

Lexx 4.08 & 4.09

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Lexx 4.08  “Vlad” September 7, 2001
Stan gets an urge to revisit Transylvania. As their slave, he takes the goth sisters back to Lexx, where they steal all Kai’s protoblood for Vlad. 790 removes the parablood from Stan, and Kai goes back to Earth to face the divine executioner. Their fight ends up back on Lexx, where Vlad bites Xev and Stan. However, Xev is not affected by parablood and successfully pushes Vlad into the cryo unit.

A much better episode thanks to Vlad the villain. There is more threat and danger to the crew with no obvious and easy remedies. Obviously they win against a stronger foe, but only by working together (4/5)

Lexx 4.09  “Fluff Daddy” September 14, 2001
Prince lures the crew down to Earth. Bunny is told to have sex with Stan. On Bunny’s porn video, Stan notices Lyekka (Loo Loo), and tries to get close to her by being the new fluffer. Prince shows Xev the mortal Kai, who is an actor who really suffers for his art, injecting staples into his feet and sleeping on the stage. He wants celibacy until his show has run (2 – 6 months). Xev eats him anyway, in a fit of cluster lizard hormones. Stan uses Prince and the ATF to access Lyekka. Using her movie “Oval Orifice” as a way to steal the key from Stanley, both Loo Loo and her director go to the Lexx, and releases Vlad. Stan is arrested for theft, and sent to a loony bin..

Another descent into silliness and characters making stupid decisions (especially Stan). Only alleviated by a  surprising ending. (2/5)

 

 

Lexx 4.06 & 4.07

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Lexx 4.06 “The Rock” August 17, 2001
Stan goes to Newfoundland to inspect his loyal subjects, but they spit in his face because he is a duplicate of “Brud”, the village shyster. Brud figures this out pretty quickly, and takes on the role of Stanley, meeting Bunny, who had been sent there to seduce Stan. Bunny cradles his rock, but Brud leaves for Lexx anyway, taking all her money. He attempts to seduce Xev using a bad rendition of Greensleeves on his portable keyboard. 790 pushes him off the command deck. Meanwhile Stan is lynched, and Kai plays the tavern pianoman, with endless variations of “Yo Way Yo”. Priest nukes Newfoundland.

This one had a bit more spark and energy in the script and direction. It’s the only episode directed by Stephen Reynolds, maybe that made all the difference (3/5).

Lexx 4.07 “Walpurgis Night” August 24, 2001
Kai needs to go to Transylvania to explore his curiosity. In the tavern, they bump into bats, superstitious villagers, Van Helsing, and 3 goth girls. They are invited to the castle for the Walpurgis feast, which is hosted by a British actor playing Dracul. Stan has “dead thing pie”. Kai is trapped in a spiked coffin by Grenfield, the owner. The goth girls do various things to Xev and Stan, and then stamp on Dracul’s plastic teeth. Stan incites a riot back at the tavern. The castle is stormed, and Dracul is killed (ex contract). The goths wake Vlad with a sample of protoblood. Lionel Jeffries appears in this episode in his final role.

It’s Lexx vs Hammer Horror. And Hammer Horror wins due to this mess of a script. (2/5)