Category Archives: Movies

Strip

 

StripTease (1996)
Starring :
Demi Moore
Burt Reynolds
Robert Patrick (Terminator 2)

I knew that you would think that I would go to see this movie.
So I didn’t want to disappoint you. I only went because you will not be allowed to go.

Demi Moore plays the part of a nightclub stripper in a custody battle
with her husband over her daughter. Robert Patrick plays the slimy husband. The sort of low life that puts on a stethescope and doctors gown and roams hospitals snatching wheelchairs with his daughter. He moves when his wife finds out where he is hiding with his daughter.

Burt Reynolds plays a corrupt senator. With a white shock of hair,
and no morals, he hams it up to the max.

OK, yes you do see Demi’s breasts (several times). But in my expert
opinion the best breasts are on the stripper with a python that
almost kills her.

There is also a stripper with gravity defying breasts so large I
am sure that Industrial Light and Magic had a hand in their
constrction.

The story starts with Moore denied access to her daughter. One night at the strip club a drunk senator hits a customer over the head with a bottle. A photograph is taken that is later to be used as a bribe. It’s almost election time, so his minders are trying to keep the
senator in line.

Another customer offers to help Moore with her custody battle, he
knows a senator that can help. So the film sets itself up for a Tom Sharpe type satire about politics, life, sex etc. Unfortunately that’s about as far as gets.

The story drags too much and lacks any sting to succeed as a satire.
It lumbers on as a light comedy, with a few good laughs.

The ending is predictable.

My Rating 5/10

Waterworld

 

Review from 1995

A 170 million dollar flop, or the film of the year ?

In the future, the polar ice-caps have melted, drowning the planet
in seawater. The legend is that dry land exists somewhere.

Kevin Costner is the Marriner, sailing a triple hulled yacht around
the world that looks suspiously like Dennis O’Conners boat that won
the Americas Cup. During the film, it sprouts enough gadgets & gizmos that you would think that M (from the Bond movies) made it.

Dennis Hopper (Speed) plays the bad guy and gets all the good lines.
Jean Tripplehorn is the love interest and looks like a lost puppy
throughout the film.

So the film is about his search for dry land, and holding on to a
ten year old girl, who has a map tattoed on her back of where to find
it. The film looks like “Mad Max” on water, with massive sets of rusting iron.

The good parts are some completely improbable stunts. The bad part is the gooey ending.

The story has the potential for a good SciFi film, but it is just an
excuse for another hollywood good-guy-saves-the-world flick.

I read a review that described it as a B Grade movie.
I would agree, so 5/10.

Another 1/10 for everyone wondering what all the fuss is about.

Sense & Sensibility

Sense & Sensibility
(1995)

Starring :
Hugh (specializing in the did-I-do-something-wrong-Officer look) Grant.
Emma (specialising little-lost-dog look) Thompson

With
Hugh Laurie (“A Bit of Fry & Laurie”, “Blackadder”)
Alan Rickman (“Die Hard”, The Sheriff in “Robin Hood”)
Robert Hardy (“All Creatures great and small”)
and a few other actors frequently seen in British Dramas.

This is the story of a mother and her 3 daughters she is trying to
marry off after their father dies. Emma Thompson is the oldest, and two of the three are of marriageable age

All the women have heaving breasts and swoon at the sight of a
potential husband. All the men have collars around their necks and bow slowly on meeting everyone from the Queen to the local dog.

What is essentially a period drama has lots of laughs due to the
screenplay by Thompson (similar comedy to ex husband Ken Brannagh’s re-writing of Shakespeare)

The props department of the BBC has been used once again for the great costumes, and I am sure that parts of Great Britian have been kept out of the 20th century just for the film industry.

Overall, a good film and deserving of the recognition it got in the
Oscars.

The Net

The Net
(1995)

Starring Sandra Bullock (and other unknown (to me) actors).

Sandra Bullock stars as a computer cunsultant caught up in a web
of people out to cause chaos in computer systems.
As a thriller, it work well. The directing is well focused and delivers
in suspense and drama. The acting is believable and avoids the
stereotypes that could have easily been used.

To understand the plot you will need a basic understanding of computer terms, especially in regard to communications and security. The complete computer dunderhead will not understand the plot.

In order to get a good conspiracy theory going, the reality of
computerization has been extended beyond what the techno-freak
will regard as reality. It’s sufficiently close to reality that
the redneck will probably rant about the encroachment to their
civil liberties to carry sub-atomic machine guns.

If your an Intel PC Nut you won’t like this film.
If your a MAC User you will love it. (Only MACs are shown)

Overall 6/10 (and don’t study the plot too hard)

12 Monkeys


Twelve Monkeys

————–
Starring : Madeline Stowe, Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, Christopher Plummer. Directed by Terry Gillian (The Fisher King, ex Pythonite)

A strange tale of time travel, madness and genocide.
Willis Joe Cole, a prisoner some time in the future. His is volunteered for the job of travelling back in time to determine who let out the virus that killed 90% of the worlds population. At first he goes back to 1990, after beating up two policemen, he is put in an insane asylum. There he meets Jeff (Brad Pitt) a seriously nutty teenager. He is assessed by Stowe, playing a psychologist.

The authorities bring him back to the future, them send him back to 1996. The virus starts killing people in December that year. There he again meets the still insane Jeff, and the psychologist. The remainder of the film is about finding the group 12 monkeys and explaining his strange dream.

The film is about 2 hours in length and drags at times. Given Gillian’s
last film “The Fisher King” and it’s social comments and morality, I was often wondering if there should be some meaning or comment apart from the narrative. My only conclusion is that it is about the futility of the human condition in this century, and that sometimes the certified insane are more sane than the rest of us.

Brad Pitt gets acting points for his suitably over the top performance. Something like a less hyperactive Jim Carey. Bruce Willis carries the film as the anti-hero Cole. His cynical roles in previous films are right for this rather morbid tale.

There isn’t any sex, little violence, little bad language and no thrills
or suspense.

Call it a strange SciFi tale. Still don’t know if I would recommend it,
so 5/10.

Now a TV Series

MI-Fallout

 

Mission: Impossible – Fallout is a 2018 American action spy film written, produced and directed by Christopher McQuarrie. It is the sixth installment in the Mission: Impossible film series, and the second film to be directed by McQuarrie, after Rogue Nation (2015), making him the first person to direct more than one film in the franchise.

The cast includes Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Sean Harris, Michelle Monaghan and Alec Baldwin, all of whom reprise their roles from previous films, along with Henry Cavill and Angela Bassett, who join the franchise. In the film, Ethan Hunt (Cruise) and his team must track down stolen plutonium while being monitored by a CIA agent (Cavill) after a mission goes awry.


One of the better action films. A good collection of stunts, running, stunts and a great final action sequence involving helicopters  filmed in New Zealand.

The main down side was a slow middle section involving characters standing around telling the story. Ten minutes could easily be removed, making a better movie.

 

Ant + Wasp

Ant-Man and the Wasp is a 2018 American superhero film based on the Marvel Comics characters Scott Lang / Ant-Man and Hope van Dyne / Wasp.

It is the sequel to 2015’s Ant-Man, and the twentieth film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU).

The film is directed by Peyton Reed and written by the writing teams of Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers, and Paul Rudd, Andrew Barrer, and Gabriel Ferrari.

It stars Rudd as Lang and Evangeline Lilly as Van Dyne, alongside Michael Peña, Walton Goggins, Bobby Cannavale, Judy Greer, Tip “T.I.” Harris, David Dastmalchian, Hannah John-Kamen, Abby Ryder Fortson, Randall Park, Michelle Pfeiffer, Laurence Fishburne, and Michael Douglas.

 

Incredible #2

 

Incredibles 2 is a superhero film produced by Pixar Animation Studios. Written and directed by Brad Bird, it is the sequel to 2004’s The Incredibles and second installment of the film series.

The plot follows the Parr family as they balance regaining the public’s trust of superheroes with their civilian family life, only to combat a new foe who seeks to turn the populace against all supers. The film stars Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Sarah Vowell and Samuel L. Jackson, who reprise their roles from the first film.

Isabella Rossellini stars as the ambassador.

With a budget of $200 million, after just two weeks it has grossed over $500 million and has 93% score on Rotten Tomatoes.

Yet again Pixar combines family values, fast action, intrigue and fun. In fact there are more laughs here than most ‘comedies’.

While it may be about superheroes, most of the plot involves Bob and his new role as house-husband while Helen is off with her new job.

The action sequences are exciting and the plot keeps moving at a decent pace. Another great movie from Pixar.

 

 

Jurassic W2

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a 2018 American science fiction adventure film and the sequel to Jurassic World (2015).

Directed by J. A. Bayona, it is the fifth installment of the Jurassic Park film series, as well as the second installment of a planned Jurassic World trilogy.

Starring:
Chris Pratt as Owen Grady, A Navy veteran and former dinosaur trainer for Jurassic World.
Bryce Dallas Howard as Claire Dearing.
Toby Jones as Gunnar Everso (An auctioneer)


A PG13 Monster movie. You can see where the editors cut back the gore to keep within the classification. So while there is a lot of action, it isn’t scary, or horror. There are a lot of generic bad guy minions getting killed and eaten. There is some science fiction themes, but by the third act, it’s just evil industrialist vs the good guys.

Enjoyable while it lasted, but ultimately forgettable.

Star Wars: Solo

Solo: A Star Wars Story, or simply Solo, is a 2018 American epic space Western film directed by Ron Howard and based on the Star Wars character, Han Solo.

It is the second of the Star Wars anthology films, following 2016’s Rogue One. A stand-alone installment set between the events of Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, it explores the early adventures of Han Solo and Chewbacca, who also meet a young Lando Calrissian, as they are involved in a heist within the criminal underworld.

The film stars Alden Ehrenreich as Solo, alongside Woody Harrelson, Emilia Clarke, Donald Glover, Thandie Newton, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Joonas Suotamo, and Paul Bettany.


This is a big budget space adventure. Where the first trilogy was about mythic tropes (the hero’s journey), this is just a big adventure.

It is surprisingly dark in colour. Where the second trilogy has lots of day-glo colours, this is darker than any previous films. There is a lot of characters in shadows, dark halls and underground. A bit more light would have helped.