Veep 3.05 – Fishing

Amy and Dan compete for the role of campaign manager: Dan is nice and Amy invites everyone to her home, while Selina meets with a third candidate, Bill Ericsson (Diedrich Bader); Mike causes a stir collecting his semen while at work for IVF purposes; Gary worries that his shoulder pain may prevent him from keeping his job; Selina, Dan and Gary travel to Virginia to persuade George Maddox (Isiah Whitlock, Jr.) not to run for president. Meanwhile, Jonah got a job working for Maddox through his uncle, who controls a major vote in New Hampshire.

You know, Dan, watching you try to be nice is like watching a baby smoke a cigarette. It’s kind of cool, but also very disturbing.

How much would I love to speak my mind on this campaign? Can you imagine if I did that? “Mississippi is chock full of assholes, I don’t trust the Chinese, and I gotta tell you something. I’m not gonna be able to pass a single piece of legislation that’s really gonna make any fuck of a difference in your life.” So how’s that for my platform?

Veep 3.04 – Clovis

On a fundraising trip in Silicon Valley, Selina is challenged by an anti-fracking mom and visits the campus of Clovis, a tech company with an ambitious young CEO, Craig. At Clovis, Amy is offered a job; In D.C., Jonah makes a crude viral video of the Selina-mom encounter, and Dan, with Ben’s help, gets an idea for a torture rumor he can spread against Chung through Jonah. Gary begins to show signs of shoulder pains.

I’m taking these people back to dial-up, you know what I mean? They think they’re kings of America.

 I know you’re walking around here like you’re C-3PO with a big brass shiny erection, but I’ve got news for you, this is kindergarten for cyber-brats. And I’ll tell you something else: if you’re over 30, check it out. [indicates an elderly cleaner nearby] That’s where you’re headed my friend, if you work here. I gotta go to the bathroom. Do they have a bathroom here, or do they put their turds up in the cloud?

Veep 3.03 – Alicia

Selina is hours away from announcing her candidacy; Mike begs Jonah not to do an article on a recent outburst but is saved by Alicia Bryce; Dan tries to get Saturday Night Live to apologize for a sketch they did about Selina, but ends up making it worse.

Meanwhile Doyle pressures Selina to drop universal childcare and therefore Alicia. In the midst of all, Catherine wears the same outfit as her mother.

Catherine: Okay. Your big day is a travesty, all right? I get it. It’s like my 21st birthday, or my 18th birthday, or every other birthday, okay? Your entire life has been leading up to this moment, and as a result of that, my entire life has been awful. Posing for Christmas cards, watching C-SPAN instead of Sesame Street, going to memorials of old Israeli men that I’ve never even heard of. I have had a hard, lonely, miserable life, and the only thing that is gonna make it worthwhile is if I become the daughter of the next President of the United States. So you need to go out there, and you need to stop behaving like a little bitch.

Veep 3.02 – The Choice

After a quick visit to their new campaign HQ, Selina and her team go on a ride-along with the Coast Guard, where they learn the president has flipped on a major issue (pro life/pro choice), which makes Selina meet different pressure groups and reexamine her own stance. Jonah stirs chaos with his new blog called ‘Ryantology’, angering Dan; Mike is called into work from his honeymoon. Meanwhile, Gary questions his role with the Veep and tries to come up with new ideas for the campaign.

Instead of doing all this pre-campaigning, sometime in the next 24 hours, you grab a mic, you say, “I’m Selina Meyer, and I’m running for President of the United States.”

Dan: You don’t announce your candidacy while the incumbent is still warm. That’s like trying to bang the widow at the funeral. You would have hear start her campaign with no strategy, no money, no staff except for [indicating himself…] Superman and […and Amy] Wonder Woman over there, just, [super-cutesy] “I wanna be President.”

Dan: I was clear! I was clear! We just need to pick a fucking number, any fucking number. Give that fucking number to the fucking press, and go to fucking bed! I mean, how much more clarity do you need? You want to print it on a fucking t-shirt? Come on! I’m so sorry. I did not mean to blow up like that.

Veep 3.01 – Some New Beginnings

Selina’s in Iowa to promote her new autobiography with Richard, but also uses a book signing to meet possible caucus voters. In addition, she starts looking for a campaign manager, even though she hasn’t announced her plans to run for president publicly.

At Mike’s wedding, the team learns shocking news that could stand between Selina and the presidency: Secretary of Defense General Maddox resigns. Jonah gets himself fired after arousing suspicion about the departure of POTUS with his blog ‘West Wing Man’. Also Selina attends a funeral with Ben and Richard.

 
Is that a Star Wars reference, “A New Beginning”? Our Next American Journey.

You have more nervous tics than a shoe bomber.

You think you’ve seen the end of Jonah Ryan? You haven’t even seen the start of Jonah Ryan! I’m leaving here with my head held high, and my nuts hanging low on your mom’s chin, Martin.

Veep 2.10 – D.C.

Selina’s determined to quit as Vice President in two years, but her plans change multiple times until a final decision by POTUS; she and her team, looking for new jobs, scramble to keep up: Dan quickly lines up a few jobs; Amy is thinking about settling down with Ed, Gary is moving on with his girlfriend to the cheese business and Mike is trying to get in with Furlong.

Of all the episodes so far, this is the most farcical. Everything ramps up to a will she/won’t she ending.

I move as slowly as a Mississippi detective investigating the murder of a young black man.

Selina: You like to have sex and you like to travel?
Jonah: Yes, ma’am.
Selina: Then you can fuck off.

Science nerd: When I grow up, I want to be vice president just like you.
Selina: Oh no, you don’t. You want to be president.

Roger: “I really don’t have any need for you, Mike. You’re kind of obsolete. You’re like a Viking stuck in time.”

Veep 2.09 – Running

Rumors are swirling about a possible impeachment vote and someone that might be challenging POTUS following the midterm election; The Veep continues her plans, that might consider her the ‘challenger’, with a meeting of party donors;

After Selina has a freak accident and trips out on medication for her injuries, she makes a statement to the media that could be easily misconstrued. Dan attempts to play both sides of the Selina-Danny Chung rivalry.

This is awkward. Like catching your sister’s eye at an orgy.

Dan: This is awkward. Like catching your sister’s eye at an orgy.
Amy: Well, my sister would never be at an orgy. Too uptight. She would want health records from everyone— and just kill the momentum and.

 Jesus, look at that stupid gaping mouth. Let’s put stuff in it.

Yeah, of course you do, Jonah. You don’t get the complexity. You’re the world’s biggest single-cell organism.

All I’m saying is that there are going to be difficult choices to make, you know? Like Sophie’s Choice choices, except more important because it’s gonna be about me.

Veep 2.08 – First Response

After being prepped for a “puff piece” interview at the VP residence, Selina is thrown by Janet Ryland’s (Allison Janney) “gotcha” questions. During the interview Selina’s team fights to maintain her faltering image and tries to cope with new information: A damaging story leaks about Andrew, who is bragging about access to Selina’s office; The government shutdown is over; Catherine has become a vegetarian.

Dan: You’re gonna do something big. You’re gonna do something bold. And you’re gonna do it in the next five minutes.
Selina: How about this? How about I lift up my dress, give everyone a big fat shot of my cooch?

Veep 2.07 – Shutdown

With D.C. in the midst of a government shutdown, Selina is forced to furlough some of her staff. Danny Chung takes advantage of the shutdown after a man is killed by a bear in Minnesota; Gary and Jonah go on a run to retrieve Selina’s trash; Dan tries to woo Sidney Purcell; Also, Andrew and Selina are starting to have sex again.

Ben: Madam Vice President, greatest respect, but it has been the job of the VP over the ages to take it in the ass to save the president.
Selina: Yeah, let me tell you something. This ass is closed for business. This ass is in clench-down. I don’t want to be a decoy. Let the president take it in the ass. He might like it.

Yeah, I know he’s fucking furloughed because I’m the fucker who furloughed him.

You know, I didn’t realize how good I was at this job until someone else did it so badly.