Very weird, showing we are all much the same:
Very weird, showing we are all much the same:
Are You Healthy ?
Top 10 signs you need to go on a diet
1. When you wake up, the first thing you think of is “what’s for dinner?”
2. When you sit down, your ass spreads to cover the full width of the chair.
3. You have breasts and you’re a man.
4. That nice swishing sound when you walk is actually the inside of your legs rubbing together.
5. You threw out your Sports Illustrated Swimsuit magazines and subscribed to Cuisine.
6. Someone gave you a card that read I’m in shape, round is a shape?
7. When you look down, you can’t see your feet without leaning forward.
8. People hide behind you at parties.
9. Staff at your local takeaway already have your order ready when you arrive.
10. People keep giving advice on dieting.
All the Birds in the Sky
by Charlie Jane Anders
This is the Sword and Laser Pick for March 2016.
Written by the editor-in-chief of io9.com.
Childhood friends Patricia Delfine and Laurence Armstead didn’t expect to see each other again, after parting ways under mysterious circumstances during high school. After all, the development of magical powers and the invention of a two-second time machine could hardly fail to alarm one’s peers and families.
It starts off OK, the story implies an interesting combination of magic and science to come. Once the two main characters become adults and live in the same city things come apart. All the magical realism and science in the first part of the story evaporates. By halfway through it all descends into some kind of boring romance. All the interesting stuff is gone. Hopefully the story will pick up and become interesting. But after a few chapters of the characters love life I lost interest and gave up.
Get Smart is a 2008 American adventure and action comedy film which was directed by Peter Segal, written by Tom J. Astle and Matt Ember and produced by Leonard B. Stern, who is also the original series’ producer. The film is based on Mel Brooks and Buck Henry’s 1960s spy parody television series of the same name.
The film stars Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson and Alan Arkin, and co-stars Terence Stamp, Terry Crews, David Koechner and James Caan. Bernie Kopell, who played Siegfried in the original series, also appeared in the film. The film centers on an analyst named Maxwell “Max” Smart (Carell) who dreams of becoming a real field agent and a better spy. The film was theatrically released on June 20, 2008 by Warner Bros. Pictures.
For a ‘comedy’ it’s not that funny. Carell’s playing it as a straight man just doesn’t work. The best part-laughs are the pratfalls and visual humour. Towards the end there is some decent action and stunts. Very Average (3/5).
The Men Who Stare at Goats (film)
A 2009 British-American war parody comedy film directed by Grant Heslov. It is a fictionalized version of Jon Ronson’s 2004 book of an investigation into attempts by the U.S. military to employ psychic powers as a weapon. The film stars George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey, and was produced by Clooney’s and Heslov’s production company Smokehouse Pictures.
Based on the book by Jon Ronson.
Very strange film about a duo (Clooney & McGregor) who go on an Iraq war road trip. During the trip McGregor narrates, telling the story of the US army’s attempts to use psychic powers in warfare since the 1960’s. Very strange and a commentary on the weird things done in the military.
The Lunar Chronicles
Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She’s a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister’s illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai’s, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world’s future.
Cinder, the cyborg mechanic, returns in the second thrilling installment of the bestselling Lunar Chronicles. She’s trying to break out of prison—even though if she succeeds, she’ll be the Commonwealth’s most wanted fugitive.
Having risked everything to warn Cinder of Queen Levana’s evil plan, Cress has a slight problem. She’s been imprisoned on a satellite since childhood and has only ever had her netscreens as company. All that screen time has made Cress a great hacker. Unfortunately, she’s just received orders from Levana to track down Cinder and her handsome accomplice.
Princess Winter is admired by the Lunar people for her grace and kindness, and despite the scars that mar her face, her beauty is said to be even more breathtaking than that of her stepmother, Queen Levana.
A science fiction re-telling of the Cinderella story. The first three books are fun and full of adventure. Unfortunately the final book is over 200,000 words and just too long with too many characters and plot lines. Recommended, but be ready for a slog through the final book.
Due to the imminent danger of extinction of the kakapo a group was recently organized to hunt the South Island for kakapo.
Because of the lack of success on previous occasions it was decided that if a range of people from different occupations were used, their different approaches to the same problem would bring better results than before. Sadly this was not so, the reasons for this are as follows.
The mathematicians threw out everything that did not resemble a kakapo, and caught whatever was left.
Professors attempted to prove the existence of at least one kakapo, and left the detection and capture to their graduate students.
Computer programmers used the following algorithm :
1. Go to Invercargill
2. Work northward by traversing east and west
3. During each traverse
Catch each animal seen
Compare to a known kakapo
Stop when match is found
Experienced programmers placed a kakapo at Nelson to ensure that the algorithm would end. Assembly programmers hunted in their hands and knees.
Engineers caught all flightless birds at random, and stopping when one of them was within 15% of the estimated weight of a kakapo.
Economists don’t hunt kakapo, but believe that if paid enough, they will hunt themselves.
Statisticians hunt the fist bird they see n times an call it a kakapo.
Consultants don’t hunt kakapo, but can be hired by the hour to advise those who do.
Politicians don’t hunt kakapo, but will share the kakapo with the people who voted for them (except West Coasters).
Lawyers don’t hunt kakapo, they just argued about who owned the droppings.
Software lawyers claimed they owned all the kakapo in New Zealand based on the look and feel of one bird dropping.
Senior managers set hunting policies on the assumption that kakapo were just green kiwi’s.
Inspectors spent all their time looking for mistakes everyone else made when packing the landrovers.
Sales people spent the time selling kakapo to McDonalds as a kangaroo substitute.
Software salesmen caught rabbits, painted them green and sold them as desktop kakapo.
All the Aucklanders that went got lost.
No Kakapo were found.
The Nerd Degree
Strangely this was omitted from the printed timetable.
This time with Jeff Clark, Brendan Bennetts (MC) a guy from the 501st and a woman who’s name I didn’t hear. A few more people this time, and a better show.
With Mike McFarland, William Salyers and Paul Eiding
Turned out to be voice over artists. Since I didn’t know any of their works, wasn’t that interesting.
Fear Factor Contest
Consisted of contestants eating revolting foods. Not that amusing.
Apparently a screaming contest devised by Mike McFarland. Won by a woman due in part to the good nature and sportsmanship of her male finalists. Weird.
Ice Cream Eating Challenge
As it states on the tin. Three groups of people ‘compete’ by eating ice cream. The final group without using their hands.
Richard Dean Anderson (again)
Better today than yesterday, he battled through the usual predictable questions.
This time on his own. Again not much to say.
David Nykl (who?)
Appeared in Stargate Atlantis (2026) and Fringe (2010).
Cosplay Cup presentation to the winners.
Purchased DVD of ‘The Wind Rises’ by Hayao Miyazaki.
A Japanese animated historical drama film written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki and animated by Studio Ghibli. It was released by Toho on July 20, 2013 in Japan, and by Touchstone Pictures in North America on February 21, 2014. The Wind Rises is a fictionalized biopic of Jiro Horikoshi (1903–1982), designer of the Mitsubishi A5M fighter aircraft and its successor, the Mitsubishi A6M Zero, used by the Empire of Japan during World War II. The film is adapted from Miyazaki’s manga of the same name, which was in turn loosely based on the 1937 short story The Wind Has Risen by Tatsuo Hori. It was the final film directed by Miyazaki before his retirement in September 2013. The Wind Rises was the highest-grossing Japanese film in Japan in 2013 and received critical acclaim. It won and was nominated for several awards, including nominations for the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature, the Golden Globe Award for Best Foreign Language Film, and the Japan Academy Prize for Animation of the Year.
Held in Horncastle Arena
The Nerd Degree
The guys had only 30 minutes on the main stage. Present were Jeff Clark, Henri Nellis, Andrew Todd, Brendan Bennetts (MC) and a Erin Harrington. They did what they could with the low turnout on the stage, despite a large crown in the main arena. Given the background noise and interruptions the did OK, thanks to a few vocal female audience members.
With Corin Nemec and Ruth Connell. I haven’t seen this show and the actors were unknown to me. They were entertaining enough with stories from the show. It soon transpired that both played characters that had been killed off in earlier seasons.
Back to NZ again was Christopher Judge. He appears to have been in all the series but was not very forthcoming with information, leaving the others to do most of the talking. Corin stayed on as he was in Stargate from 2002-2004. Richard Dean Anderson appeared apparently drunk and looking the worst for wear. In a tee shirt and short longs, it looked like he was on holiday at a beach. With a black cap on most of the time, he looked like an unknown old guy. It wasn’t until the hat came off that the silver buzz-cut made him recognizable. About half way through he got his stuff together and went into the audience to interact.
By far the best of the day. At 60 she is still looking sexy and had a lot to say. With a small starter question she could tell stories about her career. She is very wicked, funny and has probably been doing the conference circuit since star trek ended. Worth the ticket price for both days.
It’s time for NZ to vote on a new flag.
I know this is a bit late, but here is my entry…..