Due to the imminent danger of extinction of the kakapo a group was recently organized to hunt the South Island for kakapo.
Because of the lack of success on previous occasions it was decided that if a range of people from different occupations were used, their different approaches to the same problem would bring better results than before. Sadly this was not so, the reasons for this are as follows.
The mathematicians threw out everything that did not resemble a kakapo, and caught whatever was left.
Professors attempted to prove the existence of at least one kakapo, and left the detection and capture to their graduate students.
Computer programmers used the following algorithm :
1. Go to Invercargill
2. Work northward by traversing east and west
3. During each traverse
Catch each animal seen
Compare to a known kakapo
Stop when match is found
Experienced programmers placed a kakapo at Nelson to ensure that the algorithm would end. Assembly programmers hunted in their hands and knees.
Engineers caught all flightless birds at random, and stopping when one of them was within 15% of the estimated weight of a kakapo.
Economists don’t hunt kakapo, but believe that if paid enough, they will hunt themselves.
Statisticians hunt the fist bird they see n times an call it a kakapo.
Consultants don’t hunt kakapo, but can be hired by the hour to advise those who do.
Politicians don’t hunt kakapo, but will share the kakapo with the people who voted for them (except West Coasters).
Lawyers don’t hunt kakapo, they just argued about who owned the droppings.
Software lawyers claimed they owned all the kakapo in New Zealand based on the look and feel of one bird dropping.
Senior managers set hunting policies on the assumption that kakapo were just green kiwi’s.
Inspectors spent all their time looking for mistakes everyone else made when packing the landrovers.
Sales people spent the time selling kakapo to McDonalds as a kangaroo substitute.
Software salesmen caught rabbits, painted them green and sold them as desktop kakapo.
All the Aucklanders that went got lost.
No Kakapo were found.