Episode 12 – Mindy St. Claire
Eleanor, Jason, and Janet escape to a “Medium Place” inhabited by Mindy St. Claire (Maribeth Monroe), an 80’s attorney who generally led a selfish life, but whose actions just prior to her death led to a massive global charity being formed.
Cashier: So! Big plans this weekend?
Eleanor: Yep. I’m gonna sit alone in my house, watching wedding fails on YouTube, drinking margaritas through a Twizzler straw until I pass out on top of my vibrator.
Janet: Jason taught me about sexy things.
Eleanor: Oh yeah? What things did he say are sexy.
Janet: Lamborghinis, cool snakes, spinning rims, [Eleanor looks baffled] twenty thousand followers on Instagram, girls with pigtails eating lollipops, [Eleanor turns to glare at Jason, who makes a hand gesture] latex pants, Carl’s Jr. Ads, and sex.
Bad Janet: [chimes and appears on the opposite side of the desk from where Shawn is looking] What up, ding-dongs. Yeah, so basically, um, the fake Eleanor’s a dirtbag, and these jabroonis are gonna try and claim she’s less of a dirtbag now, but she just stole your train and she still sucks bad and she belongs with us. Oh, also, check this out. [farts] Nailed it.
Janet: Ooh, I’ve never had to walk before! This is fun! [three seconds of walking pass] Now I’m bored. Walking is dumb.
Jason: You guys have fun. This is me and Janet’s honeymoon, so we’re gonna go try and figure out how to have sex.