Not TREK

The TOP TEN lines you’ll never hear on
Star Trek: The Next Generation

  1. Worf: Klingons do *not* play tiddlywinks!
  2. Picard: It’s too bad we don’t live in an enlightened, civilized era
    like they had in the twentieth century.
  3. Geordi: Did you hear Wesley almost got kicked out of the academy again? They caught him smoking pot!
    Data: (looks puzzled) Pot? (brightens) Ah. Marijuana – a narcotic
    obtained from the hemp plant. Cannabis. Weed. Mary Jane. Grass. Reefer. Panama red…
  4. Troi (to someone she is counseling): You’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who cares! Now get out!
  5. Worf: Ouch! I got a paper cut!
  6. A Starfleet Admiral: Don’t worry about it, Picard, there’s plenty of other ships in your quadrant.
  7. Riker: Not tonight – I have a headache.
  8. Worf: Do we have to beam down right now? The Smurfs are on subspace T.V.!
  9. Geordi: We’ve modified the warp coils by reversing the polarity of the inverse geometric phase integrator and adding a broad-band neutrino flux generator to the hyper-magnetic field controls. Riker: What will that do? Geordi: Not a damn thing, but it sure as hell *sounds* impressive!
  10. Picard: Oh, screw the hailing frequencies. Fire all phasers!