Episode 18 – Existential Crisis
For the first time, Chidi get’s into mortality and death. Michael doesn’t take it so well. But he compensates with a mid-life crisis, featuring a very hot Janet-ette. Tahani and Jason get together.
Eleanor: Dude, you broke Michael!
Chidi: No, no, this is good! He’s having an existential crisis! [Eleanor looks confused and disapproving] It’s a, a sort of anguish people go through when they contemplate the silent indifference of our empty universe. [Michael looks up at him in horror before returning to his catatonia] Look, the good news is, if he can work through this, it’s the first step towards understanding human ethics!
Eleanor: And what if he can’t?
Chidi: Oh, then he’ll be a lifeless shell of misery forever and we’re all doomed. [cheerfully] Okay! [props Michael up] I will be right back. Gonna go grab some Camus!
Michael: Yeah. It really tugs my nuggets. [Tahani and Jason look shocked] I worked so hard on my torture ideas and theirs are so basic… these millennials, they have no work ethic.
[Tahani and Jason look confused]
Michael: Oh. Sorry, uh, a millennial is someone who’s only been torturing people for a thousand years. Millennial.
Chidi: Before I can teach Michael to be good, I have to force him think about what we used to think about: That life has an end, and therefore our actions have meaning.
Eleanor: That’s what you used to think about? I used to think about how it’s weird they don’t make pants that are just one big pant leg for both your legs.
Chidi: …You mean a skirt?
Eleanor: [Beat] No! The- you’re not getting it, and my thing is different, so, shut up.
Michael: [showing a tattoo on his forearm] It’s Chinese for “Japan”.