Episode 9 Someone Like Me as a Member
As negotiations begin to determine the fates of the Eleanors, Michael uses Tahani’s house as a meeting place only for the Bad Place demons to turn the event into a party where they walk all over Michael, much to Tahani’s dismay.
Meanwhile, Chidi and the real Eleanor bond over dinner with Eleanor and Trevor.
I assume the title is a reference to the Groucho Marx quote:
PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER.
The demons come over and misbehave. The ‘Bad Place’ looks to be more fun (apart from the torture).
Michael: The real Eleanor was attending a conference on the death penalty and you stopped by to pick up food for a local homeless shelter. And fake Eleanor was there buying margarita mix and a magazine called “Celebrity Baby Plastic Surgery Disasters”.
Michael: I mean, what do you get somebody who wants to eat a unicorn? A unicorn bib! Yes! No! No! Unicorn holders, you know, like, like corn holders, but for unicorns?
Tahani: Perhaps it would be better if we just move away from the unicorn thing altogether.
Chidi: Wait, what was your house like?
Real Eleanor: Well, I was living in what I assume is Eleanor’s worst nightmare. Every day was basically one endless baby shower for a woman I didn’t know, but also somehow I had to organize it? And if I didn’t remember everyone’s name, I got a very strong electric shock.
Real Eleanor: And then at night it was pretty classic torture. Uh, flying piranhas, lava monsters, college improv, and there was always jazz music playing.
Eleanor: Ugh, I hate jazz. Every jazz song is like forty minutes long. It’s like, “We get it, you can blow on a trumpet. Wrap it up, Elton John.”
Chidi: Famously a piano player.
Trevor: Can’t believe you thought you could pretend to be real Eleanor. She’s like a perfect ball of light, and you’re like a… wet pile of mulch. Someone made a person out of wet mulch and leaves and, like, dead slugs, and that’s you.
Dana: This sucks. How do you guys eat without listening to hardcore porn?
Trevor: I mean, honestly, you’ll be happier in the Bad Place. I mean don’t get me wrong, you’ll be miserable. We willtorture you. But you’ll also be happier, because you won’t have to keep trying to fit in somewhere you just don’t belong.
Michael: You can summon every evil creature you have, every weapon in your arsenal, every four-headed flying bear – they have them down there. [Jason looks to Real Eleanor, shocked, for confirmation; she nods] But we are not giving up. I believe that Eleanor belongs in the Good Place. If I’m wrong you can take her to the Bad Place and punish her all you want, just really go to town on her-.