Category Archives: Television

Good Place 2.7

Episode 20 – Janet and Michael

This is all about Michael fixing Janet. Turns out she has a manual. It even has a self-destruct section. In the end he can’t kill her and she consults Eleanor. Eleanor recognizes it as the ‘ex-boyfriend’ problem and tells her to get a new man, which she creates. Derek.

Michael: Hey, you know who could use some torturing right now? Chidi.
Vicky: [gasps; excited] Oh. I love torturing Chidi.
Michael: I know!
Vicky: No, actually, I had this great idea the other night, thought it was worth exploring. Picture this: [with an expansive gesture] Needles.

Janet’s Diagnosis:

Michael: Ninety-nine point seven… trillion degrees… Little bit on the high side, but no biggie.

Michael: And still no blood. Oh, thank goodness.


Michael: [reading] “In the event of continued malfunction, hold down Janet’s nose and insert paperclip into small hole behind left ear.”

Tahani & Jason:

Michael: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You two are sleeping together?
Jason: Only when we’re done having sex.

Good Place 2.6

Episode 19 – The Trolley Problem


Chidi teaches the trolley problem thought experiment, leading to Michael creating a ‘real’ version for Chidi to go through. It’s good gory fun, and he is not happy. Eleanor eventually calls Michael out as reverting to his torturing past.

Tahani and Jason take on Janet as ca couples Councillor, but it only causes Janet to glitch. Then earthquakes happen.

Chidi: Michael. You’ve been kind of quiet. What do you think about all this?
Michael: Well, obviously the dilemma is clear: How do you kill all six people? [reveals a drawing of the situation he describes, the sole figure on the alternate track having a speech bubble reading “You got us all! Great work!”] So, I would dangle a sharp blade out the window to slice the neck of the guy on the other track as we smush our five main guys.

Tahani: So in a way, you’re sort of like a therapist?
Janet: Absolutely not. A therapist is a trained medical professional with the ability to absorb and process complex ideas about human emotion. I am simply a vessel containing all of the knowledge in the universe.
Tahani: Close enough. Jason and I are sleeping together.

Eleanor: Look, see, buddy? None of this was real.
Michael: Well. They’re fake people, but their pain is real. Does that make sense? There have to be stakes, or it’s just another thought experiment.
Chidi: This is awful.

Jason: Tahani, what do you value about Jason?
Tahani: Well, he’s thoughtful. Picks flowers and brings them to me. Often they’re ones I’ve just planted, but…
Jason: That’s how I know they fresh!

Michael: I screwed up. I’m owning it. I mean, I’m a superior being; I ought to act like one. Right? So. I really thought about each one of you, and I got you something that will make you happy. I call them “opposite tortures”.
Eleanor: Do you mean “presents”?


Good Place 2.5

Episode 18 – Existential Crisis

Michael realizes he could be mortal

For the first time, Chidi  get’s into mortality and death. Michael doesn’t take it so well. But he compensates with a mid-life crisis, featuring a very hot Janet-ette. Tahani and Jason get together.

Eleanor: Dude, you broke Michael!
Chidi: No, no, this is good! He’s having an existential crisis! [Eleanor looks confused and disapproving] It’s a, a sort of anguish people go through when they contemplate the silent indifference of our empty universe. [Michael looks up at him in horror before returning to his catatonia] Look, the good news is, if he can work through this, it’s the first step towards understanding human ethics!
Eleanor: And what if he can’t?
Chidi: Oh, then he’ll be a lifeless shell of misery forever and we’re all doomed. [cheerfully] Okay! [props Michael up] I will be right back. Gonna go grab some Camus!

Michael: Yeah. It really tugs my nuggets. [Tahani and Jason look shocked] I worked so hard on my torture ideas and theirs are so basic… these millennials, they have no work ethic.
[Tahani and Jason look confused]
Michael: Oh. Sorry, uh, a millennial is someone who’s only been torturing people for a thousand years. Millennial.

Chidi: Before I can teach Michael to be good, I have to force him think about what we used to think about: That life has an end, and therefore our actions have meaning.
Eleanor: That’s what you used to think about? I used to think about how it’s weird they don’t make pants that are just one big pant leg for both your legs.
Chidi: …You mean a skirt?
Eleanor: [Beat] No! The- you’re not getting it, and my thing is different, so, shut up.

Michael: [showing a tattoo on his forearm] It’s Chinese for “Japan”.


D’Arcy Carden (Janet)

Good Place 2.4

Episode 17 – Team Cockroach

Things slow down for an episode of scheming, negotiation and finally agreement. Michael can’t be trusted, so is his plan what he intends ?

And we finally get to see how Tahani dies.

Even though Michael sees humans as “cockroaches”, he agrees. The neighborhood is rebooted with Vicky taking on the role of the top point earner and honorary mayor. The humans and Michael meet in secret and are joined by Janet, whose programming compels her to make humans happy; thus, she will support the only real humans present.

Eleanor: You wanna team up? You’ve been torturing us and lying about it!
Michael: Oh, let’s not get all caught up on who lied to whom or which one of us created an entire fake reality in order to cause eternal misery for the others; that’s ancient history.
Chidi: It was happening until twenty seconds ago.

Jason: We team up with Michael.
Eleanor: Okay. Hot take, but I like your confidence. Tell me why.
Jason: He has a bow tie.

Michael: Everyone in the Bad Place Bureau of Human Affairs gets randomly assigned a human body so we can get the feel of how best to torture you. I gotta say, it took me a long time to get used to the hanging bits.
Eleanor: Gross.
Michael: Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, Eleanor, I was talking about my testicles.


Good Place 2.3

Episode 16 – Dance Dance Resolution

This show is burning through plots like there is no tomorrow. Probably because every time Michael resets the game (802 times) Eleanor or another member of the team figures it out (even Jason).

It’s definitely getting weird and crazy (I Like it).

Now it appears that Michael has switched sides (what does that mean).

Tahani: I always have to have my sashes custom-made, due to my height and bosom size.
[Eleanor looks at Tahani’s bosom]
Tahani: Also, apparently sashes are out this season! Diagonal line really draws one’s eye to the chin-bloat. [walks away from an offended Eleanor]
Eleanor: Go fork yourself, you mean giraffe!

Jianyu: I can’t go! I’m too young to die! And too old to eat off the kids’ menu! What a stupid age I am!
Tahani: I’d never survive down there! They should take Eleanor! She’s a pear shape, she’d fit right in!
Eleanor: Oh, excuse me, you wish you could have a bite of this pear.

Janet: No, no, no, no, Michael, please, please, please! Please don’t kill me, I have so much to live for!
Michael: I’m sorry, Janet. Gotta reboot you every time I start over.
Janet: [cheerful] Oh, I know. I’m not actually upset. It’s just the automatic fail-safe mechanism that kicks in every time you approach the plunger. Go ahead. [chuckles; Michael reaches toward the button] Michael, you monster!

Michael, Attempt #127: This is your soulmate, Greg.
Michael, Attempt #146: This is your soulmate, Glenn.
Michael, Attempt #218: This is your soulmate, Tahani. [Tahani poses]
Michael, Attempt #291: This is your soulmate, Lerf.
Michael, Attempt #333: This is your soulmate, a golden retriever.


Good Place 2.1-2

Episode 14 & 15 – Everything Is Great!

Everything is reset for this season. And it’s even funnier than before. Because of the major revelation at the end of Season 1, the perception of the premise of the show has changed. Now the major  conflict is between Michael and the four humans. Because we know the characters, the jokes work even better.

Eleanor: Listen to me very carefully. My name is Eleanor Shellstrop. We need to talk.
Chidi: About what?
Eleanor: Just shut your mouth, smile at me, and walk over here.
Chidi: Okay, you’re definitely my least favorite person I’ve met so far.

Good Place 1.13

Episode  13 – Michael’s Gambit

Michael at work

Judge Shawn decides that they can choose any two of the four to go to the Bad Place.

Many arguments are made for who should go and who should stay, with Real Eleanor deciding to take one place. As arguments become more heated and frustrating, Eleanor has an epiphany: the four of them have been torturing each other not by accident but by design, meaning they’ve been in the Bad Place all along.

Jason: Let’s look at this ethnically.
Chidi: For what I hope is the last time, it is ethically.
Jason: You guys helped me and Eleanor, right? But we’re bad. So you helping us was bad. It’s basic consequentialism: The morality of an action is soley judged on its consequences.
Chidi: Great. The one time you actually remember something from class.

Jason: Oh yeah. Didn’t you raise like a thousand dollars for charity or whatever?
Tahani: Uh. Sixty billion, actually, so.


Good Place 1.12

Episode 12 – Mindy St. Claire

Eleanor and Mindy St Claire


Eleanor, Jason, and Janet escape to a “Medium Place” inhabited by Mindy St. Claire (Maribeth Monroe), an 80’s attorney who generally led a selfish life, but whose actions just prior to her death led to a massive global charity being formed.

Cashier: So! Big plans this weekend?
Eleanor: Yep. I’m gonna sit alone in my house, watching wedding fails on YouTube, drinking margaritas through a Twizzler straw until I pass out on top of my vibrator.

Janet: Jason taught me about sexy things.
Eleanor: Oh yeah? What things did he say are sexy.
Janet: Lamborghinis, cool snakes, spinning rims, [Eleanor looks baffled] twenty thousand followers on Instagram, girls with pigtails eating lollipops, [Eleanor turns to glare at Jason, who makes a hand gesture] latex pants, Carl’s Jr. Ads, and sex.

Bad Janet: [chimes and appears on the opposite side of the desk from where Shawn is looking] What up, ding-dongs. Yeah, so basically, um, the fake Eleanor’s a dirtbag, and these jabroonis are gonna try and claim she’s less of a dirtbag now, but she just stole your train and she still sucks bad and she belongs with us. Oh, also, check this out. [farts] Nailed it.

Janet: Ooh, I’ve never had to walk before! This is fun! [three seconds of walking pass] Now I’m bored. Walking is dumb.

Jason: You guys have fun. This is me and Janet’s honeymoon, so we’re gonna go try and figure out how to have sex.

Good Place 1.11

Chapter 11 – What’s My Motivation

Tahani suggests that Eleanor be allowed to accrue points in the Good Place; starting at -4,000, she must exceed 1,200,000. She performs good deeds and recreates Tahani’s welcoming party, winning over her neighbors with humor, but her score only increases when she advises Chidi to respond favorably to Real Eleanor’s declaration of love.

Eleanor learns that, since her motivation is self-preservation, her actions won’t increase her score.

It turns out that Chidi is mute when it comes to declarations of love. Eleanor’s redemption turns out to be an example of self-motivated giving. At the end, it looks like She is leaving ‘The Good Place’.

Tahani: Eleanor! Everyone hates you!
Eleanor: [cheerfully] Well fork you too!

Janet: I’m sorry, I’ve never kissed anyone before. Is one tongue okay? I can add more tongues.

Jason: I know what we gotta do. We’re gonna rob this restaurant.
Pillboi: Great idea! But what if we get caught?
Jason: We’ll just get married so that no-one can testify against us.

Jason: Hey, we thought of everything. Except for an alibi and an escape route, but we’ll figure it out as we go. You don’t wanna overthink these things.

Officer Prawnmandler: So the “plan” was to pretend to install a safe with your friend hiding inside it, he pops out, steals the money from the restaurant, gets back in the safe, then you come back in and uninstall it.
Pillboi: I refuse to discuss my fifth amendment rights until I concur with your attorney.
Prawnmandler: Sure. Look, we found your buddy’s plans, we know he was the… “brains”. You were just an accomplice. If you get lucky, you might get probation.
Pillboi: Jason going to jail?
Prawnmandler: No, man. Jason’s dead. He suffocated in that safe. There were no air holes. Pus he did a bunch of whippits while he was in there, which couldn’t have helped.


Good Place 1.10

Episode 10 – Chidi’s Choice

Chidi about to get killed

While working together on Eleanor’s defense case, Real Eleanor makes Eleanor realize she loves Chidi. Tahani confronts Jason and learns Chidi inspired his kind gestures.

Chidi panics when Eleanor and Tahani both tell him they love him. Michael successfully encourages Chidi to make a decision.

An Oxford book store is celebrating the success of The Good Place by selling the moral philosophy and ethics books referenced by Chidi Anagonye (William Jackson Harper) in the series – and its efforts are going viral.

Here are just some of the books on offer at ‘Chidi’s Choice’ in Broad Street Blackwell’s, Oxford:
– What We Owe to Each Other – TM Scanlon
– Groundwork of the Metaphysical of Morals – Emmanuel Kant
– The essential works of Foucault 1954-1984 – Michel Foucault
– Concluding Unscientific Postscript – Søren Kierkegaard
– Reasons and Persons – Derek Parfit
– Utilitarianism and Other Essays – John Stuart Mill and Jeremy Bentham
– Ethics and the Limits of Philosophy – Bernard Williams

Blackwell’s Bookshop in Oxford, England

Michael: That’s the spirit! Don’t even think about the fact that our slightest misstep could cause Fake Eleanor to suffer for eternity.
Chidi: ‘s all I’m thinking about now!
Michael: Yep! Shouldn’t’ve said that. Regretted it immediately.

Michael: Listen, I don’t need the Chidi who once had a panic attack during rock-paper-scissors because there were, and I quote, “just too many variables”. I need the Chidi who stormed in here and told me to stop Eleanor’s train without thinking of consequences

Chidi: It would be easier to sort out the issue of dry-erase versus paper if I could write down the pros and cons of each, but, of course, I would have to use one of them to write down the pros and cons for them, which is problematic.

Michael: If you can’t make a choice, this whole neighborhood could fall apart!

Chidi: I need to step outside. For some air. And… I will not be back… for many days.

Janet: Does anybody here object to this marriage?
Eleanor: [simultaneously] Of course we do! How could we not object?
Tahani: [simultaneously] Yes, this is a terrible idea.
Janet: Overruled.